b'INTRODUCTION: CAROLINE JONESI never wanted this book to happen.This was never in the plan.What I wanted was for my mum, Mary, to win her battle against cancer and for us to crack on with life.Back to normal is what I craved: sharing cups of tea and a sneaky kit-kat; talking fashion; non-stop texting; listening to her boast about her grandchildren; her wise, common sense words and her brilliant wit.I adored her company and her utter kindness. At 46 I was stillbecame more confident in front of the camera and settled into learning from her, I was still taking notes and picking up tips, buta routine, I came to appreciate the importance of good lighting; cancer had other plans.On the 24th October 2014 my dad,contrasting backdrops; playing with hairstyles and makeup; John, lost his beloved wife; my children lost their wonderfulcropping my images and working the camera, albeit just my Nana and I lost my mum.trusty iPhone 6. My photographers included members of my And then came my grief. Cutting, bruising pain mixed withfamily, friends or, on many occasions, an unsuspecting passer-silence and nothingness. Blurred, forgotten early days of eat,by. In addition to posting the photographs I also started to enjoy sleep, cry, repeat, with family and close friends rallying around.writing and sharing small snippets of my day with my readers. Christmas 2014 felt numb and then New Years Eve arrived. IMy campaign allowed me to showcase the brilliance of pre-loved spent an hour, late in the evening, quietly reflecting: no tears, justfashion and the gems you can find by simply looking through the my own gentle thoughts. Before I knew it, I had a plan. A planrails of your local charity shop. Most importantly, by the end of that was going to bring a little light into the New Year. I decidedmy year I had raised over 50,000 for Cancer Research UK, to to start fundraising from 1st January 2015 for Cancer Researchfund work into better diagnosis, treatment and prevention of UK. Every day I would find and style myself in a different outfitcancer. from Cancer Research UK shops and Id post a photographThis book captures my daily photographs throughout 2015, daily.It was to be called Knickers Models Own, because my pantspresented week-by-week.It charts my passage through grief, would always be mine.through seasons and through styles. Ive also shared some of the From the beginning, I posted on social media channelsthings Ive learned along the way: some tips about shopping for (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram) and by the end of week one,pre-loved clothes, styling, colour and accessorising. having featured on the BBC UK homepage and The Daily MailNothing really prepares you for being scrutinised on a daily Online, 97,000 people had viewed my Facebook page.Knickersbasis or for being catapulted into the limelight. What got me Models Own had become a campaign: the donations startingthrough my year was the support of my family and friends and coming in and the media came calling.My campaign featuredof the team at Cancer Research UK. I received many moving in The Guardian; on BBC Radio 1, BBC Radio 5Live; The Metro;messages, often from people I have never even met, who The Mirror; WI magazine; local radio and press. I took part inconnected with me on social media to view my daily posts and a documentary with Alex James (Blur) and appeared on ITVsto push me on. If you were one of those wonderful people, Loose Women and BBC Ones The One Show.you should know that you kept me going through very low I was voted JustGiving Awards Creative Fundraiser of thepoints, through moments when I couldnt imagine the next day Year 2015 and received a Highly Commended Pioneer of thedawning, let alone consider what I would be wearing. Thank Year award by Cancer Research UK. At the end of the year Iyou all.was presented with a Points of Light volunteer award by Prime2015 was amazing and life-changing. But it was never meant Minister David Cameron.to be this way.I still long to share a sneaky Kit-Kat with my In the beginning, my campaign was as homespun as it comes:mum.it was just about getting dressed, getting the photograph taken, adding a small description of the outfit and hitting post. As I Page 9'